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I have a feeling that if I was ever one of the unfortunate people in a horror movie I wouldn’t be the one who lives to tell the tale.

I went to a Halloween event last night with some of my friends.


Anyway, we were wandering in this maze full of things that jump out at you and zombies trying to eat your brains and things that look like props from the set of a brutal slasher movie. You know how the story goes.

Anyway, there’s this creepy little girl walking around as one of the actors at this place, with an amazingly bloody costume and twirling this ridiculously life-like knife, and she tilts her head and says in the creepiest voice: “Hello, how are you?”

It’s like meeting the girl from the Ring.

Everyone around me screams, but apparently I’ve been trained to have a Pavlovian response to this question because instead of hysterically running away like a normal person I squeak out: “I’m good thanks, how are you?” and cower whilst she gives me the strangest look.

Arguably, this was an inappropriate time for manners.